Cake and relationships

A new connection

I discovered during a recent Saturday outing with Julian that fitness goals often lead us down unexpected paths. Our planned rigorous walk transformed into a leisurely beach stroll, complete with a pit stop at a charming café. There, we indulged in coffee and shared a huge slice of delicious cake—a decision that proved more beneficial than we initially realised.

Later that week, while listening to Chris Cousy's audiobook 'The Joy Switch', I stumbled upon a fascinating concept that aligned perfectly with my interests in neuroscience and well-being. Cousy introduces the idea of joy circuits on the right side of our brain, designed to foster relationships and cultivate happiness. He presents the acronym CAKE to assess our ability to relate to each other as our best selves.

Contrary to our literal interpretation at the café, CAKE stands for Curiosity, Appreciation, Kindness, and Eye contact. Reflecting on our beach day, I realised Julian and I had unknowingly embraced these elements. Perched at a table in the Lakeside cafe, we maintained eye contact, expressed genuine curiosity about each other's thoughts, appreciated our shared time, and interacted with kindness.

While embodying these qualities during a relaxed outing is easy, the real challenge lies in maintaining them during difficult times. Can I remain curious when frustrated, seeking to understand another's perspective? Am I capable of appreciating someone's positive attributes when annoyed? Can I consistently treat others with kindness and face them directly instead of turning away when tensions rise?

I'm committed to incorporating more metaphorical 'CAKE' into my relationships; whilst being mindful of my literal cake intake! I'm eager to embrace curiosity, appreciation, kindness, and eye contact in my interactions. It's a simple yet powerful recipe for nurturing joyful, meaningful connections in both easy and challenging times.