I’ve Got Your Back (Or at Least Your Toe)

Jul 15, 2025

I had a great time at church this Sunday (I know, that sentence alone might seem a miracle to some). The speaker was talking about the wisdom of Solomon, an ancient king who, among other achievements, wrote some very tweetable life advice before tweets existed.

He shared this from Ecclesiastes 4:9-12:

“Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two standing back to back can conquer.”

I love that image of standing back to back to conquer, and I couldn’t help picturing all those action films where one character dramatically yells, “I’ve got your back!” while diving into slow-motion chaos.

Later, I saw a photo on BBC News of two soldiers training, literally standing back to back, scanning different directions. I did a quick sketch of it and just thought: wow, how much trust it needs in battle to know someone’s truly watching your blind spots.

Relational Safety > Perfection

This theme of having each other’s backs has been with me this week, bringing to mind my friend Suzanne’s recent Substack post on why relational safety matters more than perfection (truly worth a read).

Relational safety isn’t a trendy phrase; it’s oxygen for the soul. We all need people who can know our stuff, know our story, and still be there with us and for us.

Do you have someone like that? In your actual physical world or even in your online circles? Someone who’s got your back?

When “I’ve Got Your Back” Becomes “I’ve Got Your Toe”

This brings me to a lighter note (with permission from the star of this tale, my sister-in-law).

My sister-in-law has been driving nearly two hours once a week to come and help me care for my mum. She’s been showing up, being there, having my back in practical and emotional ways.

Last Thursday, however, she managed to trip over one of Mum’s pieces of equipment. I heard a scream:

“Andrea! Andrea! There’s blood everywhere!”

This is not what you want to hear when you’re halfway through your daily watercolour challenge.

In that moment, my heroic “I’ve got your back!” became:

“I’ve got your toe!”

I rummaged through my large (of course) box of medical supplies, got a dressing and applied pressure, and got the bleeding stopped, but it was a bit of a scene. We then headed to the walk-in centre, where, I must add, she was a complete drama queen. (She allows me to say this because we’re safe with each other.)

As the nurse unwrapped the dressing, my sister-in-law nearly levitated off the examination table. I called her a drama queen, and the nurse nodded, “Only you can say that.”

Then, as the nurse continued tending to her, my sister-in-law let out a scream that sounded like she was giving birth. I nearly fell off my chair laughing, and asked the nurse how he wasn’t cracking up. He said:

“It’s alright, I’ll do that later over a glass of wine.”

He then calmly informed my sister-in-law that a 12-year-old with the same injury hadn’t made a peep earlier that day.

Despite the drama (and the shrieking), my sister-in-law’s toe is now strapped up and healing, and we both ended up laughing about it.

And I’m just so grateful: she’s there for me as I care for my mum, and I could be there for her (toe included). That’s relational safety in action.

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Who’s Got Your Back?

We all need people, don’t we?

People who will cover us.
People who will help us.
People who will laugh with us (and sometimes at us, in love).

And people who will show up on your doorstep, drive two hours, trip over medical equipment, and scream like they’re in labour while you hold their toe together.

The speaker on Sunday finished with a quote from Zig Ziglar: