The Gift of Truly Listening:
A Tribute to Julie
A year ago, I lost a dear friend, Julie. She wasn’t just a colleague—she was a presence, a safe place, and above all, an extraordinary listener. You’d often find her in our office with someone sitting across from her, sharing their heart. She never rushed to respond, never judged, and never advised unless it was asked for. She simply listened fully and deeply.
In a world where conversations often feel like a competition to be heard rather than a chance to understand, Julie stood apart. She was not like most people:
“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.” — Stephen R. Covey
I remember one day at work when my mental health was really poor—I had a meltdown and yelled at Julie. She didn’t react with anger or judgment. Instead, she gently and kindly calmed me, helped me go home, and let me know I wasn’t alone. A week later, it was Julie who visited me at home. She didn’t try to offer solutions or tell me everything would be okay. She simply sat with me in my distress, validating me with silence and a gentle smile.
When you spoke with Julie, you felt heard. She had a unique ability to make you feel like your words mattered, that you weren’t just echoing into the void. In that space of genuine listening, something remarkable happened—walls came down, shame diminished, and true connection grew.
The Power of Being Heard
Brené Brown's research on vulnerability and shame teaches that shame cannot survive being spoken and met with empathy. This is what made Julie’s gift so rare—she didn’t try to fix, minimize, or compare. She just sat with you in whatever you were feeling, as Brown beautifully described in her animated short on empathy.
David Augsburger also wrote something profound:
“Being heard is so close to being loved that for the average person, they are almost indistinguishable.”
That was Julie’s magic. She made you feel loved simply by listening.
Doing Julie Proud
Losing her has made me reflect on how precious it is to feel truly heard. It has also made me ask myself: Am I listening the way Julie did?
We all have the opportunity to give this gift—to listen, not to reply, but to understand. To hold space for someone without judgment. To let them be fully seen and heard.
Julie’s gift of listening deeply enriched my life. If we ever meet, I hope to honour her memory by listening to you well.