The Weight of Beautiful Things
How even what we love can become too heavy to carry
Sometimes even the most beautiful things in our lives start to feel too heavy to hold. This reflection is about learning when to set them down and how freeing that can be.
Sometimes the most surprising decisions sneak up on us.
Recently, I found myself making the choice to step away from my career as a physiotherapist after 34 years. It’s a decision that’s both a little bittersweet and incredibly freeing. Lately, I’ve been feeling so exhausted, like I just wasn’t doing a good job juggling everything, especially caring for my mum as her condition progresses.
I’ve been reflecting on this idea of capacity. You know, sometimes it’s not just the debris or overwhelm in our bucket, but even precious stones, things we truly value, that take up space. Stepping away from my professional identity feels like removing one of those precious stones.
As Brené Brown says, “You can’t take care of others if you’re running on empty yourself.” This choice is my way of making sure my own bucket isn’t overflowing.
The other precious stone
It’s not the only stone I’ve had to lay down. I’ve also stepped back from my role as Secretary of Kirkham Cultural Connections, our wonderful local group that brings together art, heritage, and wellbeing. It’s a community I love deeply, and being part of it has brought me joy and friendship.
But again, it’s one of those beautiful, shining stones, something lovely and meaningful that still takes up space. For now, I simply don’t have the capacity to hold it, not while giving the care and attention my mum needs, and still remaining well myself.
If I’m honest, I’ve had to work through a fair bit of guilt about that, guilt about letting people down, about stepping away from things I care about. But I’m realising that guilt often shows up when we start to honour our own limits.
The truth is, these decisions aren’t about abandoning anything; they’re about tending the ground beneath us so that, in time, things can grow again. Maybe I’ll pick up those stones again one day. But for now, they need to rest beside the bucket, not lost, just waiting.
Learning that we have choices
This process has reminded me how easily we can become stuck in “musts” and “shoulds.” We tell ourselves we can’t make changes, that people are relying on us, that we’ll disappoint others. We build stories around obligation and fear until they become walls.
But as I’ve discovered, those walls are often of our own making. We always have choices, even if they’re hard ones, and choosing differently doesn’t make us weak. It makes us honest.
Carl Jung once said, “I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become.” That line has stayed with me, because it reminds me that we can evolve, redefine ourselves, and choose how we want to live, one careful, intentional decision at a time.
A question for you
So I want to invite you to reflect along with me:
What’s in your bucket right now?
Are there things, maybe even beautiful, precious things, that you need to set down for a while?
It’s okay to pause. It’s okay to change. And it’s more than okay to protect your energy and your heart.
Because our identity isn’t only what we do, it’s who we are deep down. And sometimes, making space for that is the most loving thing we can do for ourselves.
🪣 If this reflection resonated with you, I’d love to hear from you in the comments.
What are some of the “precious stones” you’re learning to set down—or hold more lightly?
About the author:
Andrea Selley writes Illustrated Musings, a reflective blog exploring creativity, care, and courage. Through her project, Illustrating Hope, she combines art and wellbeing to nurture connection and joy.